and this is why...

In first grade, I stood in front of a few girls, not proudly, rather shyly, and told them about my family's beach house. I told them how much fun it was to go to the beach with my grandmother, go surfing with my father, to frolic until the fire flies came out and the street lights came on.

Although I was simply trying to share with my classmates something that I truly loved, in hopes that they would find enjoyment and happiness in my enjoyment and happiness, I had girls make fun of me, and worse, some claim that I was nothing but a big liar.

As a seven year old, I was quite hurt. I went home and cried to my mother, telling her there were an awful lot of mean people in my class.

Nearly 16 years later, I realize that these girls were simply jealous. envious. and cruel.

In sixteen years, I still remain awfully innocent and naiive to the ways of people, the ways of the world.

I often share my stories with others because I want them to be happy.

I was raised very well, and I am extremely comfortable with myself, often beaming with confidence, energy, and generally positive attitude.

I love myself.
I really love who I am.
And I believe if I didn't, than no one could love me, and I in turn, I could love no one.

Still, this confident energetic` demeanor ` is often regarded by some individuals as being boastful, careless, and some cases, concieded.

These thoughts that people have about me are often so deeply hurting that I question my healthy self love, and ask if maybe I should be more insecure, maybe I should tone down my behavior.

The truth is...I should not.

No one should.

Insecure people see me as a threat because although not the most attractive or intelligent person in the world, I genuinely love the gifts I have been given by God, and use them each day to love others.

I think the reasons I wrote this entry today are many, but for anyone reading this, know that I will not stop loving myself, no matter how hard you try to get me to!

And that is final!